A year ago this month, my life blew up. I don't know how to soften that; I don't know how else to say it. Such a massive explosion leaves behind a lot of collateral damage. And pain. And scars.
So, this is an anniversary of sorts. It's not the kind I ever planned to have, but I've learned to live with what is – not what could have been.
For anyone who thinks you have to "find" God – let me remind you that He's never far away and definitely not lost. So, I'll avoid that cliché and just say that I find it easier to "be still" with an Ocean View.
As I write this, I'm sitting under a palm tree watching the sun rise over the Caribbean. I hear birds arguing over scraps of bread. Two gray-haired, sleepy-eyed men, not talking, are drinking coffee at a table behind me. A balding man wearing Nike running gear sits alone at the end of one pier. Five men, dressed in cargo shorts and tank tops, are laughing loudly as they climb onto a fishing boat at the end of another pier. A man in a short-sleeved tropical shirt and sitting two tables away to my left, is smoking a cigar and staring at the water. A cruise ship floats sleepily near.
Yes, I'm the only blonde out here. It's way too early for the others – they spent most of last night partying at the swim-up bar. Not a judgment; just a fact. ;)
And He's here – in the sloshing waves curling around my toes. In the white sand covering my rope sandals. In the dazzling reds of the Flamboyant trees. In the coolness of the morning breeze. In the brilliance of the orange sunrise.
Last night, my daughter fought the covers of the bed we shared, kicking me hard with her muscular legs and crying through a nightmare. "I can't! I can't!" she screamed. I knew I couldn't stop what was happening to her, so I just put my arms around her and smoothed her hair until the battle ended.
A year ago, I never doubted that God was with me. I have never needed evidence of Him – I live in His abundance. But there are times for all of us when we need more than a hug or two – we need to be engulfed, coated, enveloped, shielded in love. When I cried out, He was there to tighten His arms around me.
And so, more than ever, I relish His gifts – like this sunrise as it conquers the horizon in a breathtaking Ocean View.
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