“Tell us about your most embarrassing moment with
bacon,” she suggested, using a black oven mitt to one-hand a hot pan onto the
counter. Two thick braids held the front strands of her long, dusty blonde hair
off her face. Black yoga pants, black chef's coat, “Chef Carolyn” in pink
letters on the left side.
Six men and six women sat on the stools at the long
counter and watched closely as Carolyn cut the pecan-bacon brownies. No one
responded to her icebreaker.
I was a kid – 10 or 11 – about to bite into a piece
of crispy bacon at the breakfast table. “Do you remember Wilbur?” my dad asked,
that smirk sneaking up the left side of his face. You mean the pig that I fed
and cleaned and loved and talked to and named after the character in my
favorite book, and cried over on the day I found out that he had disappeared
... THAT Wilbur?!
Carolyn was scooping crumbly brownies onto small
paper plates. “I put in a little extra bourbon this time,” she said with a
smile. “What happened to the rest of the bourbon?” several people asked at
once, as the laughter rippled. Nope, only in the brownies. After all, this is
state-funded education.
I really miss Julia Child.
Carolyn sliced tender pork roast, separated thick
raw bacon slices, turned on the gas burners, preheated ovens and took stuff out
of the fridge, but it wasn't long before we were off the stools, cutting
salmon, peeling oven-baked eggs (325 degrees for 20 minutes) mashing hot sweet
potatoes, chopping paprika, sage, onion and garlic, frying and crumbling pounds
of pork.
And we were all hostages to that bacon smell.
Cooking requires patience, perseverance,
flexibility, prayer, versatility, love, planning, teamwork, focus, discernment.
It helps if you have some skills, but you can learn how to do anything: chop,
de-bone, whip, mix, slice, grate, stir.
This was an industrial kitchen – think Cake Boss
rather than Rachael Ray. Hanging silver pots, wooden cutting boards and
sharpened knives. Four ovens, four sinks, a massive island counter. A Splatter
Zone (been in Sea World?). Carolyn pushed a button and a splatter shield
emerged from the counter behind the gas stove. Cool!
“Since this IS a bacon class, we will substitute
grease for butter in every recipe,” Carolyn said without looking up.
No matter how closely you follow a recipe –
measuring precisely and stirring with confidence – or how many times you use
the same recipe – the Sunday pot roast, the Monday night meatloaf
– it never turns out exactly the way you planned or exactly the same way
every time. For the record, my bacon green beans have never tasted as good as
my grandmother’s. This is a creative and unpredictable journey.
“I need some of you to de-vein and de-tail the
shrimp,” Carolyn said. I joined several others, including a 20-something
blonde, at the island.
“I can’t do it; I don’t like their legs,” said the
blonde. She hid her hands in the front pockets of her red hoodie.
In my most professorial way, I peered over my
gray-rimmed glasses. “They’re tails.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
Pretty sure.
“How about if I take off the tails and you do the
butterfly cut?” I said.
“Will I need a knife?” she asked.
Could use your teeth, I suppose.
“How about if you wipe off the counter after I’m
done?” I said, smiling brightly.
We scorched one batch of bacon. The salmon – well,
let’s just say it wouldn’t make the cover of a food magazine. Somebody (you
know who you are) cut some of the bacon too short for wrapping the shrimp.
The timer alerted us that the bacon sweet potato
soufflé was ready. Carolyn pulled it out of the oven. Then, she scooped bacon
pecan ice cream out of the silver machine and plopped the sweet stuff into the
white foam bowls in front of us.
“I don’t think I can eat ice cream at 10:30 in the
morning,” the blonde said.
“You’ve got a lot to learn,” a tall, 50ish man
said, reaching for her paper bowl.
While savoring the creamy souffé, I became immersed
in a 15-minute discussion of cheese with Sheila, sitting on the stool to my
left.
1. Put fresh parmesan or provolone inside a date.
Wrap bacon around it. Bake at 350 degrees until the bacon is done.
2. Use at least two kinds of cheese in every
recipe.
3. NEVER run out of cheese.
Under “course suggestions” on the evaluation sheet,
I wrote, “Cheese, Please.”
We cooked and consumed the brownies, salmon, ice
cream, shrimp, candied bacon bites, fresh spinach salad with creamy bacon
dressing, bacon nibbles. And lots of bacon crumbs.
Four hours later, I walked out
the door and straight into a bright blue sky and a crisp fall breeze. And
remembered what I had forgotten. Everything tastes better when you enjoy the
journey.
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