Blonde jokes

1. A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. The driver dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The police officer replied, 
"It's square and it has your picture on it."
 The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the police officer. 
"Here it is!" she said.
 The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying...
"OK, you can go. Sorry, I didn't realize you were a cop..."

2. How can you amuse a blonde for hours?
Give her a piece of paper that says "please turn over" on both sides.


3. What do you call a blonde on a university campus?
A visitor.


4. Blonde No. 1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Blonde No. 2: "No, who wrote it?"


5. What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!


6. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them!


7. Why don't blondes eat jello?
They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.


8. Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.


9. How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.


10. Why can't blondes dial 911? 
They can't find "11" on the phone.


11. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back!


12. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
There is whiteout on your monitor.


13. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant!

14. A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” 

The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice,the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200-pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?" 

The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

15. “I got a compliment on my driving today,” a blonde told her friend. "There was a note left on my windshield it said "parking fine."